My first time admitting that I binge eat : Binge Eating Disorder Forum ...

My first time admitting that I binge eat

by steph453 ? Thu Oct 18, 2012 8:29 pm

For a while now I have struggled with my eating and the way I feel about how I look. I am fitness obsessed, and I do know that I don't have an actual weight problem, but since starting university, I put on a small amount of weight, and gradually began to hate it. Then it became an obsession, and I would start to spend more and more time thinking about food and exercise and the way I look. I am currently living in France as part of my year abroad at university, and in the past month I have started to binge eat. I put on a bit of weight when I first arrived here due to the difference in lifestyle, and my friends and I would often cook together and end up eating lots of unhealthy foods. But I continued to do lots of exercise and so it wasn't much of a problem. However now my obsession has become bigger and bigger. During the days when I go to lessons, I won't eat anything, and find it easy, I will come home from lesson and do a massive workout, on an empty stomach (having last eaten the night before), but as soon as I eat something in the evening I can't stop and end up eating ridiculous amounts of whatever is in my cupboards (all food is kept in our individual rooms so it is easy to do so). I enjoy it while I am doing it and then after I feel sick, depressed, disgusted at myself, and spend the night having a broken sleep and planning how the next day I will have to starve myself and over exercise again in order to counter balance it. I am quite good at not buying particularly unhealthy foods but I will binge on anything (such as porridge tonight). I don't know why I can't seem to stop myself. I feel disgusted at myself all the time, and it just seems to be a never ending cycle now. I end up tired often because I don't sleep well and I exercise like crazy to try and undo what I have eaten. This is the first time I have spoken about this, nobody else would guess I have a problem because they think I am sport obsessed, and everything goes on in my bedroom after we have all said goodnight to one another.

Source: http://www.psychforums.com/binge-eating/topic99253.html

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